You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way. I’m not saying that you’re your own worst problem, but what I am saying is:
- You are smarter than you claim,
- You are standing in your way, and
- You know better.
So stop it, ok? Seriously, just stop. I firmly believe what you want out of life is so very close once you learn what your role is in making it happen. And it’s your life, so you should make it happen.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all saying that where / when / how you got to where you are currently doesn’t mater, but what I am saying is we should all give up complete hope for a better past and work on a better future. (To borrow from the great Lilly Tomlin).
There are so many little things (and some not-so-little things) you can do right now to have a life you actually want, not just one that you’re supposed to want.
So whether it’s ditching suburbia, or channeling Miss Airstream, you have far better things to do than your to do list anyway.
Yes, there are impossiblities, and yes there are heartaches and closed doors. But those are the minority, and we treat them like the rule. We are standing in our own way when there is a great big world out there.
A couple examples. We all know that if we spend less than we make there will be some left over. And while we certainly aren’t all blessed with margin in our life, so many times we say we want one thing, but our spending suggests otherwise. We want our dreams to become goals and our goals to become realities but we don’t have a clue where every dollar goes and how quite practically our finances purely reflect our priorities. I heard on the radio the other day that the average car payment is $475 / month! And it’s not like that’s for the short term until it’s paid off because most people just roll it over into the next car. Give me my 16 year old truck! Just 2 years of those payments and you could have your very own paid for Lucy [or otherwise named Airstream] and be sitting next to these fabulous crashing waves at dawn.
Yes, I’m one of those crazy Dave Ramsey fans and we are far from done with that journey, but getting control of your money [i.e. priorities] will change your life.
Another truism as my father-in-law so wonderfully put it at our wedding is “you always have time for the things you put first.” No, there is not time for everything every day. But there is always time for the first thing you do every day.
These two concepts together: total game changer. Seriously. But there is that one other elephant hiding in the room. If most of us are being honest, we don’t know what we want. Not a single clue. At least nothing worth skipping that next $4 coffee or manicure over. And if you don’t know what you are making trade-offs for, the immediate pleasure will always win. I was in total denial about this for more years than I care to admit.
But then sometimes it hits you. Out of thin air. When you are driving a rented convertible on a mountain ridge, completely terrified of hights, with no cell towers in range and no clue what road you’re on, on your first solo vacation ever. And it seems completely crazy! Like, I cannot believe my-parents-are-still-proud-of-me crazy! But you get a glimpse and you run after more. That trip was only 3 years ago, and I cannot believe how far I’ve come.
These first 15 days in the Airstream are even more of a glimpse of what we want for the future. Our first half month on the road. Now a beautifully shared dream with ~200lbs of dog and 31′ of trailer in tow. I cannot believe we have to pack up tomorrow. About 4 hours away we have a wonderful house to call our home, but today this feels like home and I do not want to leave. We have so much more clarity now than when we started, and are taking even more steps toward it soon.
More to come on that for us. But for you, we want this for you too. Find that glimpse. Chart that course. Take baby steps. Decide what you want. Take a solo vacation, a long drive, a quiet walk, but whatever you do: go. figure. it. out.
Love and clarity,
Kate + Adam